"Good luck exploring the infinite abyss."
inspired by the unexpected
Everyone is a lot. Not just some people - we all are.
And that’s good — of course we’re a lot. We each have depth, needs, stories, arcs, pains, joys, wishes, and melancholies (both from our own life and from our collective sorrow).
My last post was about noticing our capacity — our capacity to give, show up, and extend our energy and presence with the idea that it will lead to deeper connections.
It’s actually very hard to do, and lately, I’ve been very hard on myself about it.
I want to endlessly show up, endlessly give, and endlessly experience togetherness whenever possible.
For me, when I have the energy to give to others and can genuinely drop into the experience of togetherness, the human experience shines brighter — it becomes something so joyous and beautiful, where there are hardly words.
And, I know that I’m deeply sensitive to the energy required to just care for myself.
In this modern life, it appears to be an exponential amount. Somedays, I can barely feed myself.
And like I said, we’re all a lot - and for good reason.
It’s a practice to see my sensitivity is a strength and a practice to know that I could probably go even easier on myself in some way, at all times.
To remind myself, hey - being aware of your energy is a very good thing.
If this resonates for you, I deeply wish you the same sentiment <3
My sister recently pointed out something to me I found super helpful.
Expectations in relationships are something to be co-created, gathered, and built together with the information offered by all parties.
What we can reasonably expect from one another in any relationship, romantic, platonic, or something else - has been a question plaguing me for years.
What if we didn’t place expectations on each other until we’ve had time to discover the relevant information offered? What if we allowed for time and space to unfold naturally, and observe the behavior most willingly done?
Then, we can decide what’s something we can expect from others — and what’s not. Then, maybe we can learn to discern between what is a need we have, and what is an expectation.
Maybe, this is how we do relationships without attachments.
Unexpected pleasures are so much better and more satisfying than expected pleasures.
And fortunately, people will show you who they are pretty quickly, and a pursuit and exploration of why they are the way they are is usually very worth it, no matter where the relationship evolves to.
This makes us curious and compassionate — some of the traits that will help us survive this modern world.
“Good luck exploring the infinite abyss” is a line from an early 2000s gem of a film, Garden State. This line has always stuck with me —
In Garden State, the main character realizes he’s been emotionally blunted for most of his adult life, and so he sets out on this exploration to feel it all. To get back to himself and have deep, vulnerable connections with others.
Similarly, a spiritual practice may always feel like an exploration, with series of realizations.
You know those days where you wake up thinking - I’m going on an adventure today and I don’t really care how I get there or where I end up — and you just get up and go.
From there, each little discovery and realization feels more special, because unexpected pleasures are so much better and more satisfying than expected pleasures.
It’s living life in a way without concern for outcome, without certainty of our efforts being worthwhile, and trusting that the effort is never wasted.
It’s the life of an ongoing solo traveler on a lifelong exploration of knowing peace, knowing connection, if nothing else. It’s to live like a traveler, travelling lightly, carrying only what you can hold, no matter where you are; an explorer of life; an explorer of souls — in a vast and infinite abyss.
Good luck <3